A Kinksters Musings

10 Simple Rules for a Wise Dominant
by Lady Jade

1. The submissive’s SAFETY will always be of top priority to a wise Dominant, both physically and emotionally.
   
   
2. ALWAYS respect and honour a submissive’s safe word and never put him or her in a position to be afraid to use it.
   
   
3. Just as submission is a gift to be treasured, Domination is a talent to be mastered so BE educated and experienced at dominating BEFORE you take on the responsibility of another’s life.
   
   
4. Don’t be too arrogant to be able to listen and understand your submissive’s viewpoints and needs. You might just learn something from them. After all communication is the foundation of a strong D/s relationship and can not be obtained if it is all one sided.
   
   
5. Never punish a submissive by withholding your affection, this is emotional blackmail.
   
   
6. Provide guidance and support when needed and stay tuned in to your submissive’s moods. In return you will gain a submissive that is eager to please and serve you because they feel of value.
   
   
7. Provide your submissive with negotiated guidelines to stay within and when the submissive steps out of those guidelines CONSISTLY apply punishment.
   
   
8. Understand that just as a submissive’s trust must be earned so must a Dominant earn a submissive’s trust. This does not undermine your control but strengthens it.
   
   
9. Enjoy and use what is offered to you with kindness, harshness, pain and pleasure and have the wisdom to know when to use each one.
   
   
10. Never be too full of pride or blinded by your own “power trip” to admit when you have made a mistake and to even say “I’m sorry”. Just as no submissive is perfect for their Dominant 24 hours a day; no Dominant is perfect either.
    
    
11. Don’t be afraid to extend trust. Just as you prove that you are trustworthy only when the submissive trusts you, so you can only develop your submissive’s trustworthiness by being willing to extend trust. Failure to do so may poison the relationship, either by setting the submissive up to “cheat” or by suggesting to the sub that he or she may not *be* trustworthy, or by creating distrust for you in a reciprocal action.
    
    
12. Nurture your submissive. The more the submissive knows and can do, the more valuable your sub is to his- or herself as a person, and the more valuable his or her submission to you will become to you both. It is more satisfying to have a strong person trust you by yielding control than to have control over a person who is a “doormat.”